Inspiration versus aspiration. Wish well. Ask well. You might not get what you want, but will you will always get what you need. Such is life it seems. A clash of forces. A clash called Love. The meeting and merging of innumerable factors all harmonizing together into what we experience as actuality. I truly have no idea what this thing we perceive as reality is made of, how it comes together, and most of all how it holds together.
I have come to appreciate the fact that no aspiration is ever left unattended. The thing is, it seems, I am not sure which aspiration in me has the strongest calling. I feel I am made of an association of parts, a construct of desires and needs, a pile of aspirations. I realise that each part comes with a relative sense of self-awareness which in itself is meant to meet its full potential on a scale I cannot fathom. That is why, I believe, my aspirations are met with various responses more or less complete or satisfying. A call doesn't always get the answer it is looking for. But this call will always get a response, no matter what, no matter when. Creativity and the intuitive mind are doors in my being for the coming of messages from other realms, from planes of my existence I am oblivious of. All I can do is ask, with sincerity, that these secret parts of me come and say hello in a language that I recognise, a language that carries meaning. Sometimes I feel that the message, the response to my call as it lands have had to come a long circular way, like around a spiral, to finally reach down to my surface and actualise itself on the terms of my mundane awareness. And, I have to reckon, this is fine by me. To learn patience and humility has to be the building block of the way toward self-mastery. And I would rather be the slave of a deeper, wiser, truer self of me, the timeless I, than be a slave to unregimented, hasty and selfish desires struggling to impose themselves on my outer person. With time, I have learned to aspire for a better how instead of a better what. How I do things, seems now more important than what I actually do.
So when inspiration is away, when I feel empty in a suspended state of disbelief, when things seem to be out of reach, out of sight, I remember to remember that I should not forget to remember that the lesson might be exactly that: how to hold on to my integrity and keep rowing even when paradise is not yet on sight. The earth is round, so one can only see so far. Aspiration will always bring the fruits of the season, one just has to be patient and trust. For as far as I have come to understand: ignorance is the gift of darkness to its followers. Ignorance is the protective veil against a Light that might be too strong to sustain for a confused mind, a soul without an anchor. As I grow stronger, I can carry more. Solvitur ambulando. "It is solved by walking." It is by doing that the difficulties are lifted. And if something seems difficult to achieve or resolve in the first place it is only because we are not aware of what makes it simple. And it is not only by trying to analyse or conceptualise a problem better that we can definitely solve it, but in my humble opinion, by going through whatever difficult experience one step at a time, without expectation and with humility and patience, with a curious mind always looking for more raw experience and less abstract questioning. Solvitur ambulando. "C'est en forgeant que l'on devient forgeron", a French expression meaning: forging makes a blacksmith, or less appealingly: practice makes perfect.
Art is my teacher. I do not make art. Art teaches me who I am, what I am made of, and who I am becoming. Art is the door to my self-expression. Art is my magic prism. Let's continue to sing so we can listen to the song. Life sings itself. Let's tune in.